I have the opportunity to serve in relief society in my church and so every few months I get to write a message for the women of our congregation. I just wanted to share what I wrote for this month's message, since I had to shorten it significantly for the newsletter.
In the October 2012 general conference, Elder Uchtdorf gave a talk titled “Of Regrets and Resolutions”. As part of that talk, he shared a story about taking leisurely bike rides with his wife. Sometimes, Elder Uchtdorf sees other cyclists and he thinks that perhaps he could be more competitive if he and his wife would push themselves harder. Inevitably his wife reminds him “Dieter, it’s not a race; it’s a journey. Enjoy the moment.”
Enjoying the moment is something that I've been contemplating recently. It is so easy to get caught up in an end goal that we forget to enjoy the journey of getting there. This life is a journey back to our Heavenly Father. How sad it would be for Him (and for us!) if we focused solely on that end goal and did not enjoy the journey of life!
Elder Uchtdorf said “Doesn’t it seem foolish to spoil sweet and joyful experiences because we are constantly anticipating the moment when they will end?”
Living in Milwaukee has been a sweet and joyful experience for me. I have made some wonderful friends and had some incredible growing experiences here. Both my children were born here and it has been the Milwaukee ward that has helped strengthen and support my little family. And yet sometimes I find myself dreading the time when we will have to leave here. How foolish of me!
May I suggest that we all try to stop and enjoy the moment more fully? Milwaukee is part of our journey. I pray that we can all invest more in the here and now. Take the time to create friendships. Yes it takes effort to create strong friendships, but those friendships make this journey much more joyful. No, we probably won’t live in Milwaukee forever, but we can gain much from considering it our home.
When Mike and I were first married I did not invest myself in our new situation. We knew we would only be there for a year and I looked forward to our next situation rather than investing in that stop in our journey. I did not invest in the family ward we were a part of. I went to all the ward and relief society activities hoping that someone would befriend me and take me under their wing. I came home from every activity and cried because it never happened. I am not sure exactly why I never put in the effort to make friends and be involved, but I know that because I did not, I had a very difficult time.
Before we moved to Milwaukee, my mother reminded me that my home was wherever I was with my sweetheart. I did not want to repeat the mistake I made as a newlywed. So I put myself out there and made friends. I made friends with people that would only be around for a short time and I made friends with people who would be around for a long time. I call Milwaukee my home. And it has become a place that I love. I may hate the long winters, but I love the friendship and community I have here. I can tell you that no matter how little or how much time we have in a situation, investing in that situation and trying to truly enjoy that part of our journey can be so fulfilling. I have friends that I only knew for a couple months, but those friendships were edifying for me.
There is an old adage that says “It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.” The beauty of a friendship is that although we may move or our friends may move, we still get to keep those friendships wherever we are. With so much technology at our fingertips it is easier than ever to keep connected to friends who live far away. It is much better to have a friend for even a short period of time than to not have had that friendship. Yes it is hard to have friends move away, believe me, I know. But I gladly experience the pain of having friends leave because it means I have friends to care about.
I want to challenge all of our relief society sisters to start thinking of Milwaukee as your home. It doesn't matter if you’ll be here for a couple more weeks or a couple more years or if you plan on living here forever. Invest in the here and now. Think about what you would do if Milwaukee were going to be your home forever and do it. I can’t think of anything we would lose by doing this. There is so much to be gained as a whole if we all invest in enjoying the Milwaukee part of our journey.
As I talk with many of the sisters in the ward I find that many feel like they do not have friends and that they don’t belong. This is heartbreaking to me. I have even felt that myself at times. If we all invest in friendships with each other we will all benefit and be blessed.
I just want to say one last thing. It can be easy to fall into a social routine with a group of friends who are convenient or comfortable. May I challenge you to place yourself outside of those situations every so often? Keep those friends, but stretch yourself a little and create additional friendships.
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